Your child’s graduation from college or high school is a happy moment for everyone involved. It’s a time to celebrate your child’s accomplishments and give yourself a little pat on the back as a parent. It can also be a time of great stress and conflict if you are divorced or in the middle of a divorce. Follow these tips to make this time of celebration a little happier.
- Make the day about your child. This is her time to celebrate. Try to reduce conflict or at the very least keep her out of it.
- Make seating work. If you and your ex will both be attending the graduation ceremony, you don’t necessarily have to sit in the same area. And you definitely don’t have to sit next to each other. If other family members will be at the ceremony you can sit with the group, but not with each other. If there will only be the two of you, consider how much it might mean to your child to look out and see his two parents together at this moment. Sitting together can work if you keep conversation to a minimum. Cell phones provide an excellent distraction until the ceremony starts.
- Talk about gifts. This is a chance for you and your ex to pool your resources and get your child a great gift, such as a used car or fridge for the dorm room or something equally wonderful. To buy a gift together be very clear about contributions and who will make the selection. Plan to give the gift at a time when you can both be present.
- Party without conflict. If your child wants a party, you need to decide if you will have one together or each have your own. Remember that the party is not just about the two of you, but about all of your friends and relatives. Can they co-exist peacefully for this brief time? If you will give a joint party, but it is at one of your homes, it is very hard to ensure it is not really a party at mom’s house that dad is allowed to come to. Try to divide up responsibilities. If the party is at mom’s house, maybe dad can bring the cake and some food, help with decorations, or mail invitations.
At DeTorres & DeGeorge your future is our focus. We’re here to help you with divorce or family law in Flemington, New Jersey and the surrounding areas. Make an appointment by calling 908-284-6005 today.